"Wow...I've never met a talking cow before, much less a God."

"Yeah, I hear the novelty wears off pretty quick."





"Well, what happens now? Do I have to...say a prayer...? Or do you just hand out holy quests? Should I help you...escape...? I'm sorry, I'm kind of new to the 'talking to a God' thing."

"Oh, sure, let me pull out my Holy Handbook and give you Beginners Quest Number One. You can go on a fetch quest to get my Holy Backscratcher, then I'll have you kill a bunch of rats in the dungeon. I'm a cow, you wretched little ball of dirt. I can't exactly do much, and that whole 'escape plan' ain't gonna fly. We're about forty stories beneath the surface and cows can't walk up stairs."






"What -really??? I thought cows could walk up stairs, but they just couldn't walk down them."

"That's actually a common myth. We can't walk up or down."

"What? That's ridiculous! How did you and all the other cows get down here then?"

"I was in a cage the whole time, they just rolled me down the stairs. Granted, I was livid at the time, but in hindsight it was actually a pretty efficient way to - "







"Huh? Oh. Uh, yeah, sure, that's fine."







"Take five, guys, you did great. Go on, get out of here. No, no, the show was great, you did fine, just go. Shoo. Shoo."







"It's always 'Did we do okay, Cowsea? Did we do it right? Do you need anything else?' Ugh, these guys...and as for YOU, Mickey or Mimsey or whatever the hell your name was - I'm getting pretty tired of talking to you. You mortals never understand ANYTHING. You're just like cows, you always have to explain things to them, and then they ask for clarification, and then it's just like...ugh. If I give you your...your quest or whatever, will you leave me alone?"

"I...sure, I guess? What kind of quest?"

"Always with the questions! Always questions questions questions - here's an idea, how about you finish my quest, huh? A holy quest to get everyone in this hell hole to worship me instead of my stupid brother, how's that sound?"